Joke jokes
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
You are American when you walk into the bathroom, and you are American when you walk out.
But do you know what you are when you're in the bathroom? European.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
What's Stephen Hawking's shampoo?
Head and Shoulders. 😊
I would create an orphan website...
But you need a home page to do that.
(Since somebody stole this joke before) 🤷♀️
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
I'mma monch ur nan's feet at 3 am tonight, ngl.
Someone: Hey, are you a skeleton?
A skeleton: Of course, I have a SKELE-ton of fans!
What did the officer tell the lioness after she said she was a dog?
Oooooooooh girl, you lion!
Friend, you so faaaat.
Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.
Why is drinking soda so sad?
It's soda-pressing.
Why did the car fall asleep?
Because he was too tired.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
What’s 12 inch long, purple, and makes women scream??
Cot death!