Joke jokes
What's Yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of dead babies.
Where did Alice go during the explosion?
Everywhere.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
If I busted an egg on your head.... the yolk would be on you... ha ha ha!!!
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
Why are the same Sally jokes told over and over again?
Because how can you tell jokes about someone who's dead?
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Q: Why can't orphans be gay?
A: Because they don't have anyone they can call "Daddy."
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts make a right.
What’s the difference between Rosa Parks and Muhammad Ali?
One fought for freedom, the other fought for fun.
Fun fact: this category of jokes is the MOST hated one by feminists.
Unless you force them the point.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Joe's pizzeria and abortion clinic.
Yesterday's loss is today's sauce.
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"
The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.
The kid asked him again and so on.
Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
Tech administrator of a school: Hm, a message from Google security?
Tech administrator of a school: OH SHIT!
Assistant: WHAT, WHAT, TELL ME?
Tech administrator of a school: WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, WE FORGOT TO SECURE THE SITE!
Assistant: OK, OK, THE KEY IS NOT TO PANIC... let's call the school board.
A FEW MOMENTS LATER
Head of school board: HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's a good one, almost as good as the one with Jack, Jill, and the ripped condom! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Tech administrator of a school: HAHAHA yeah I know right *whispers* you are playing it cool, right?
Head of school board: *whispers* yeah we're fucked...
TWO HOURS LATER
Important fat people in one room: OH FUCK OH NO, HELP PLEASE!!!!! WAIT, HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO TELL THE PARENTS ABOUT THEIR STOLEN INFORMATION!!!
AND SO THAT WAS THE BIRTH OF RIOTING TEACHER
Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.
This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!
Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?