Joke jokes
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerk.
Jerk who?
This website who!
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
The Pope and Donald Trump are on stage in front of a huge crowd.
The Pope leaned towards Trump and said, “Do you know that with one little wave of my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display, like that of your followers, but go deep into their hearts and for the rest of their lives. Whenever they speak of this day, they will rejoice!”
Trump replies, “I seriously doubt that. With one little wave of your hand? Show me!”
So the Pope slapped him.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? You give him a tampon and ask what period it's from.
This is a joke in itself.
This is not a joke.
Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.