Joke jokes
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously, just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
I am sorry, but the provided text is just a link to a song on SoundCloud. There is no joke to correct or analyze.
My departed uncle was a circus clown before he died.
So all his friends came in one car.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? Hot wheels!
What did the kid with Down syndrome say to his friend?
Nothing, he had no friends.
Why couldn't the kid go rock wall climbing?
Because every time he moved his leg upward, his prosthetic leg fell off.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
There was this kid who was going to take a girl to the dance. He had fancy clothes, fancy shoes, etc. Finally, the day of the dance came. He happily drove over to the girl's house. When he got there, he said to her father, "thank you for this moment, have a great night".
At the dance, the girl asks the boy, "can I have some food?" He gladly replies "yes" and walks over to the food trucks, only to see a huge line. So he waits in line for like 30 minutes. He comes back to the girl, and she says, "thank you so much, I really needed something to eat". Then she asks for some sweets and a soda. Again the boy waits in line for about 30-45 minutes. Then he comes back, and she says, "thank you SOOOO much". Then she says she has one more request. The boy, (now clearly agitated) says, "what is it?" She says, can I have some punch? SO the boy walks over to the punch table, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."