What's fat and wanks over his mom?
Guy Sheppard.
Joke Jokes
My penis is on fire.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What's the same about dark humor and kids with cancer?
They never get old.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
I love my family when they're buried alive.
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotofpuss.
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
Why did the skeleton not cross the road?
Because it did not have the guts.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish store?
"Hello Ladies!"
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack.