Joke jokes
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
Guess what? Chicken butt.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anal.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jerk.
Jerk who?
This website who!
Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
What's the hardest part of riding a scooter?
Telling your parents you are gay.