Joke jokes
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
Me: I look up to you.
Friend: Wow, thanks!
Me: But in general cuz your so tall.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
Why take a nap on the toilet?
Because it's a restroom.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
As many as you like. They can’t change anything.
My dad asked, "Where are you going?"
Me: "Back to the orphanage."
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool?
Posiedown.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
If you read this, your life is a joke.
I'd tell you a joke about unemployed people, but none of them work.
I was going to make a 9/11 joke, but I'm afraid it will crash and burn.
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"
I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.
What's fast and almost got away?
A Mexican jumping the border.
My life, there, that was the joke.
What do you call a hot Mac Book Pro?
A Mac Daddy Pro.
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
You want a joke? My entire existence.