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So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you." in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says, "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says, "Cool, let me try!" and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says, "Superman, you're an asshole."

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?

You can't fuck a rock.

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the ground.

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    • Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road?

    Please take this down, it's not funny at all!

    It's a joke, not a dick, so don't take it so hard!

    I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

    Then it hit me.

    This guy in a trench coat walks up to a kid, opens the trench coat and has glasses inside.

    He says to the kid, “Hey kid, want some extra-see?”