What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef!
I'mma flip this coin, if it lands on heads, tuh, you gotta give me head, if it lands on tails then you gotta give me the booty, so lets give this a try *flips coin* OOP! Would ya look at that, it landed on both, ESSKETIT!
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
Joke 1) 9/11 was such a tragedy... Two drunk people drove a plane into a building.
Joke 2) If 6-2=4, why are there no more towers?
Joke 3) Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
What do you call a cutta with ginger hair?
Flinn Taylor.
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.
He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.
I asked, "Where are you going?"
He said, "Camp Bin Laden."
I asked, "What do they do there?"
He answered, "They got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus they got arts and crafts."
I asked, "What do you mean by arts and crafts?"
He said, "See this towel on my head?" I nodded. "I made it out of boxer jokes."
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
Chuck Norris once took down a fence. Maybe you heard of it, the Berlin Wall.
What animal gets easily offended? The chicken; they always get roasted.
Want to hear something that’ll make you smile? Your face muscles.
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
There was a kid named Buttitches, and his teacher was taking attendance. Then the teacher asked, "What is your name?" And he answered, "Buttitches." Then the teacher asked again, "What's your name?" and he replied, "Buttitches." Then a student yelled out, "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY!"
What's that useless skin around the vagina and the boobies?
The women.
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Just cut the rope.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.