What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Joke Jokes
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Wanna hear a long joke?
JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!!!!!
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
Stormtrooper: What should I do about my overdue library book?
Palpatine: Renew it!
Spaceballs: The Joke.
Why did Stephen Hawking make it to heaven?
He couldn't make it up the stairs.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Why didn't the newest Star Wars movie start with the classic scrawl?
Because it was a Rogue One!
Hahahahahahah I'm dying.
Son: Hi Dad, I'm Son.
Dad: Hi Son, I'm Leaving You.
Years later:
Dad still did not come back.
Let's not make any more Indian jokes. All your jokes are trash. Please stop.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
Imagine the Russians showing up late to the 1917 revolution with a Tsarbucks in hand. They were late, so I guess they weren't Russian. They were probably Stalin.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.