I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."
Joke Jokes
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.
This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Where are you right now?
Looking at a fake joke? You are a waste of time and space.
So I walked into this bar and thought, "Wow, this is a dull joke."
I don't like jokes.
I was trying to make a joke about fighting, but I couldn't come up with a good punchline.
Say "joke" 5 times.
Oh, nothing happened.
Jokes suck.
My joke is so diam funny, or so damn funny.
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”