Joke

Joke Jokes

Fetus

What's the difference between an aborted fetus and an upside-down bar stool?

An upside-down bar stool can only pleasure 4 men.

Yolk

What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"

Bar

One man walked into a bar. A second man walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked.

Tree

Q: How do you get a one armed person out of a tree?

A: You wave at them.

Nun

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Poem

My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:

I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!

Mole

Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.

It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.

Sister

I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"

I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."

School Bus

Me: What's yellow and can't swim?

My sister: What??

Me: A school bus filled with kids.

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