Joke jokes
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
Wanna hear a joke? You thick.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.
It wasn't that funny.
So I just Snickered.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?