Joke jokes
Déjà Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before.
What's black and white and red all over????? A zebra in a blender!
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
Eagle: "You know why hunting me would be a bad idea?
Because it is ILL-EAGLE!"
What's a furry's favorite news network?
Fox!
Do you want to hear a joke about a construction?
Sorry, still working on it!
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because there's too many jokes about Sally.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
Why is the bald eagle bald?
Because it has no hair.
It has feathers. LOL.
Wanna hear a joke? You thick.
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"