Joke jokes
When you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because he got stuck in a crack.
Q: What did the drunk emo say to the bartender?
A: Nothing! He was hung over.
Wanna know what is offensive? I don't know, ask feminist (sans undertale).
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 ate 9.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
What did the cow call its own life? An udder mistake.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Why can't you fool an aborted fetus?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
What's the difference between a penis and a gun?
A child doesn't cry when a gun goes off in its mouth.
My blind friend got ran over by a parked car.
Skedaddle skedoodle, I'm gonna go beat my noodle.