Joke jokes
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
What is black and blue and really hates sex?
The six-year-old in my basement.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
Ok, now I'm not good at telling jokes, but this one is not too bad. One cunt said to another cunt, "Do you get cold at night?"
"Fuck no, cunt," the first cunt said, "Why?"
"I have a built-in set of vertical curtains to keep the cold out, cunt!" xx
What do you call a person whose Lymphoma keeps recurring?
A Lymphomaniac.
Why did piglet go to the bathroom?
To search for Poo.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).
I asked my lab partner for sodium hypobromate, but he said, "Na Br O."
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Why did the mushroom get a new house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom!
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
I wish I could tell you about my penis, but it's too short.