Joke jokes
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!
Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Yo mama is so ugly her hairline is receding just to get away from her face.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
What did one man say to his friend who had a receding hairline?
He said, “Hey, friend, I can see that your head definitely has a brighter future than mine.”
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What’s another name for nutting in a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
You're not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
I was going to think of a good amputee joke...
But I’m stumped.
I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.
What is an orphan's least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
What do you call a Chinese man in the summer heat? Boi Ling.
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
Why do you never see gay people in wheelchairs?
You can’t be a fruit and a vegetable at the same time.
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.