Joke jokes
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
Your legs are just like Oreos! I wanna split the ends and eat what's in between.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
What is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?
I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
What do you call a psychic midget in trouble with the law?
A small medium at large.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What will Reddit be without the robot logo?
Reddot.
What is the difference between a retard and a zombie anyway?
They’re always hungry and shuffle around aimlessly, moaning... Oh, and it takes a bullet in the forehead to put them both down.
Uh!!!