I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Joke Jokes
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
One day, the teacher asks a boy, "Why can't fish talk underwater?"
The kid says, "If I put your head underwater, will you be able to talk?"
Other girls be like, "I want a 6ft guy", meanwhile I want to be 6ft under. 😃👍
What part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
Stop saying "cheetah cheater" jokes. They suck!
How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just beat the room for it being black.
What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
I cry when I chop up onions.
911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.
This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
What did the hairdresser say to the power line?
"Want a power cut?"
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!
