Joke jokes
What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.
What do you call a dwarf with borderline autism? Jimothy.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
This is a joke. Laugh!
Rape is not a joke.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. đ¤˝ââď¸
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Whatâs the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherlandâs wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
What does grass and Rachel Sutherlandâs wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson?
Because it's a family company...
Why are orphans prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
Dad, am I adopted?
NO! Why would I ever choose you?
Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?
Whatâs green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.