Joke jokes
What do you call a girl with one leg? Ilean.
Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?
Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.
I started crying when my dad was chopping onions.
Onions was such a good dog!
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
The more downvotes it has, the better the joke.
Most people age up on their birthdays,
Stephen levels up.
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
What's a paedophile's favorite footwear?
White Vans.
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Students: "Meat."
Teacher: "Very good. Now what does the pig give you?"
Students: "Bacon."
Teacher: "And finally, what does the fat cow give you?"
One of the students: "Homework!"
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.