Joke jokes
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.
To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
Hey, look, it's Uranus coming from the sky!
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
Did the leaf or the emo fall out of the tree? The leaf won. The rope stopped the emo.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
What did the cucumber say to the bell pepper that wasn't wearing enough clothes?
You need more dressing.
How does a Muslim close a door? He islams it.
When someone tells me to kill myself,
Panic! At The Disco: Don't Threaten Me With A Good Time.
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
What do you call a fat man that has a stomach shaped like an egg?
Humpty Dumpty!
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Once I tried to tell my friend a joke about dead people... but it went six feet underground...
What's funny about dead baby jokes? - They never get old.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.