Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?
Matt.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family because there is no "f" in orphan.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Next time you get a call from anybody, say, "Hi, welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
Or,
"Hi, welcome to Pizza and Abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce!"
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I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
When the school shooter misses you, but you gotta play it off.
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Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
What is one plus one?
It's TOO hard!
Q: What did one emo kid say to the other emo kid?
A: Wanna hang out?
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something. SOMEONE will laugh. Say: "This word isn't gonna be funny until I tell you, your probably not going to laugh." *your friend* "what's the word?" *you* "finger" *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not everyone laughs, so don't feel bad if they don't. Also, don't be surprised if you get put in jail for murder, because you're going to kill someone with this.
I am dark humor.
Any body have nothing to do? Well here is a prank that you'll never forget!
(Btw I never actually did this irl yet)
So tell your parents at night to come in in about 30 minutes cuz your legs hurt and you need them rubbed. So when they come in, pretend like your sleeping and right before they go out shout: NO! Then they will look at you but you'll be sleeping. (The idea is that you'll be sleep talking.) Then you start to cuss and say the most random things like: Hey you can't chew my cud it's mine, plus, you even went swimming today at that damm lake! Also say something like: YOU SON OF A BITCH! *swat in the air once* Then say: Why I made your f*ckin' bed today you stupid parents! *swat three times* And btw try and not smile as hard as it may be cuz they will be looking at you weird. And try to open your eyes just enough so you can see them. And depending on the tipe of parent you have they may wake you up by then or they will get interested and start laughing! Any way, then say: That mother f*cker that lives across the street just said I was ugly, you should do something about it(sibling name) ______. And also say: And if you happen to know where the nearest store is then that would be helpful. Then say: No Hulk! Leave me alone I love you! *swat twice*. Then say: Uncle Timmy Tom you are such a nude nick.(my dad made up the word nude nick, it just means crazy and annoying) Then settle down and lay on your stomach in your "sleep" and make it look like you putting the blanket on you more, but irl it would probably be to hide a smile! I think I will stop there cuz I don't think any one could hold in there laughter that long and if you feel like you can hold out longer then just make something up.
I hope you guys can do this and it goes well for you! Please comment! Byeee!