Joke jokes

So there's a little girl playing hopscotch at the front of her house while her mother hangs up the washing and her father mows the lawn. She says, "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back." The father laughs, until his daughter steps on a crack resulting in her mother's back breaking.

The little girl's father looks in terror, she then says, "Step on a line and you break your father's spine." The father closes his eyes waiting for his spine to break, but nothing happens. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he is ok, and nothing has happened to him. Suddenly he hears someone yell out "OW MY SPINE!" The father runs around the corner to see the mailman laying on the floor.

We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.

Why did the man say, "I'm stuck?" Because he was...

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.

Sike, that's the wrong number!

ooooooooooooooooooooo

I got no joke.

When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”

So Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

I’m just kidding.

Snake one: Are we venomous?

Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?

Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)

What did the mouse say after its bath?

"I feel squeaky clean!"

What is a monster's favorite place to swim?

Lake Erie!

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.

What is it about a beard and glasses that children find so sexy?

When the school shooter pulls the fire alarm, and the autistic kid thinks it’s a rave party.

When the school shooter is getting roasted because of his Pokemon lunch box, but they don't know that there is a Glock 34 inside.

What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!

Orphan jokes are just hurtful, and that is all they are, so please stop.

Qwen is a liar (sent with a dance).

Hi Liv & KK! It's me Gwen, remember me from the orphan joke protest?

I'm lookin' for some good jokes for the best song award. Can y'all help a fellow out?

I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.