Joke jokes
Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?
Hey guys! Wanna hear a joke?
-You guys- sure
Ok! -insert every game with a copy and paste/slender in the thumbnail-
Roblox jokes on this page in a nutshell: something about Roblox girlfriends, and "Add me on Roblox. My name is Sonicboy100299easyarsenaltowerofhellproxdlol."
Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?
Because so he does not have a home button.
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.
Friend: What was the first?
Me: They- they weren't always orphans.
Friend: O-O
What's the difference between 100 dead babies and a Lamborghini?
I don't have a Lamborghini.
Any singular person who makes fun of the Chinese in any of these posts is deemed a 他妈的傻逼.
Joke not up for debate.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
I tried to pull (his/her) leg at the comedy club, but got arrested for sexual harassment. Does that still count as a joke? 🤣
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa did, not screaming and shouting like his passengers.
So I'm the cable guy around the neighborhood, and I do everybody's cable. So I walked into this one house, and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs. I was asking where her mom was, and she wasn't answering, and it looked like something was wrong, so I asked if anything was wrong. She didn't answer, so I kind of raised my voice at her, but she still didn't answer, and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear.
I was making holy water, and my girlfriend walked in, saying, "What are you doing?"
I said, "Making holy water."
She said, "How are you making holy water?"
I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
What do you call the Gray Man in an electric chair? Fried Fish.
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.
After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh at the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."