Joke jokes

What do you call a fat girl with a rape alarm?

Optimistic.

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

What did the cat say when he fell off the table?

MEOM!

If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?

The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.

A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"

A guy with AIDS went into the doctor's room unusually happy. You could even say he was HIV positive.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.

Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?

I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.

What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

I don't know, I have both!

If you try to fail and you succeed, which one did you do?

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

What do you call Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

The world's first microwaves.

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

I love bullying orphans. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

I asked what LGBTQ stands for, and I couldn’t get a straight answer.