The UK is a joke. I want to leave ASAP.
Joke Jokes
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:
Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?
What's long and black?
The line to KFC.
Do you know what you first feel when you shoot someone?
The recoil.
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What's black and white and red all over? The prisoner I just hit with my car.
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
A man walks into a bar, and there is a line of people waiting to punch him.
Yeah, that was the punchline.
Brazil is a joke.
America and UK are a joke.
Eastern Europe and Western Europe is a joke.
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
My dad has the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
So, Helen Keller walks into a bar... And then a table.
