Joke jokes

When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'

Explain Bear teaches us that explaining the joke makes it a billion times funnier.

Alabama's saying: It's not cheating if we’re all siblings.

I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I thought about making a necrophilia joke, but I knew it would be a DOA.

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

I can’t stand jokes about Germans.

They’re the wurst.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yo mama!

I’m not saying my life’s a joke. I’m saying it’s the punchline no one asked for.

What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.

When you accidentally make your joke too dirty and get in shit from Explain Bear.

What goes up but never comes down? Your age. You have probably heard this joke before.

How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?

Tell them a joke to make them smile.

I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.

Apparently there was a woman from Australia who had sex with 500 men in one day.

That's like a real life "Your mom" joke.

You really seem like you don't want to be laughing at that rape joke, but somewhat ironically, I'm forcing you.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.

Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...

I should probably stop making abortion jokes.

After all, the aborted babies aren't laughing.