Joke jokes

What does an orphan call a family picture?

A selfie.

What did Tennessee?

Same thing that Arkansas did.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.

He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."

But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"

Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."

Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

Random guy: Hi, how old are you?

Me: 15

The guy: You're so young, age is just a number.

Me: Do you know what else is a number?

The guy: What?

Me: 911

Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.

I would roast you but you're already so hot.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would just crash and burn.

Cheese, gimme cheese!

(inspired by a friend)

I took the trash to the recycling bin, and two days later, my mom asked me, "Where's your sister?" I said, "In the recycling line to be turned into a bottle."

The emo kid went for a high five. People say he's still hanging.

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

What do you call a gay man with a thicc ass?

Fruit cake.

Are your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go way back?

What's the difference between a dad and the Twin Towers? The Twin Towers went black and never came back, and the dad was black and just didn't come back.

"Knock, knock."

"Who's there?"

"Who."

"Who who?"

"Why are you who-ing like an owl?"

Up into the sky so very far, here comes Dr. Seuss! "ALLAHU AKBAR", at the ripe old age of 97, he committed 9/11.

What did the pickle say to his friend Rick?

"We are Pickle Ricks!"

What did the pickle do on the road?

It said, "I'm Pickle Rick!"

Your mom was so fat that she couldn't have a man and couldn't go through the door.

I'M JOKING, DON'T GET MAD!

A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.

IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!