Joke jokes
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
Joke start.
Punchline!
It took me 9.11 seconds to realize.
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
I rate it 9/11.
This isn't a joke, but I'm a survivor and use humor to cope. I find these extremely funny, so please leave the people writing these alone 😭
What does the f in orphan stand for? Family.
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonald's.
What do you call a group of emo kids? Suicide squad.
Sonic says: "If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
Wanna hear a joke? Women have no rights!
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Not a joke?
More like not an existing organism in life.
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.