Joke jokes
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
What do orphans call a family photo?
A selfie.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.
I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.
Twin Towers: "No, it won't."
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?
Not Johnny.
Like if you laugh.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
My "friend" has dyslexia.
Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
What do you call a disabled kid on fire?
Hot wheels.
Mom: I'm getting you a dog!
Me: OMG REALLY?!
Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?
Me:...
Me: Bitch, please.