Joke jokes

I know a good airplane joke, but it will probably go over your head.

Twin Towers: "No, it won't."

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

me: I'm going to steal your heart.

her: omg that's so romantic!!

me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?

A bath bomb.

Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...

Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.

Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.

Little Johnny has no arms. Knock, knock, who's there?

Not Johnny.

Like if you laugh.

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

My "friend" has dyslexia.

Hi, my name is Uncle Joe, and I like kids in a way that makes their parents not trust me anymore.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.

Why can't orphans be gay?

'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."

What do you call a disabled kid on fire?

Hot wheels.

Mom: I'm getting you a dog!

Me: OMG REALLY?!

Mom: Yeah, what gender do you want?

Me:...

Me: Bitch, please.

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

Yo forehead so big, an airplane can use that as a runway!

The best joke: you. O wait, I can't even say that because jokes have meaning.

Cremation is my only hope for a hot, smoking body.

What falls first, the emo or the leaf? The leaf. The emo was hanging.