Joke jokes
Why can't Michael Jackson come within 500 meters of a school?
Because he's dead. đ
Whatâs a lesbianâs favorite Pokemon? Squirtle.
Bully: I can't understand you because I don't speak ugly language.
Me: And I don't speak idiot language.
I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
911 jokes usually go over my head.
Then it hits me.
My grandpa said my generation relies too much on technology.
Then I unplugged his life support. :)
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"
That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.
Say this when you answer a spam call...
"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."
A plane is about to crash into the ocean, and the passengers are freaking out.
A woman stands up, takes off her clothes, and says, "Before I go, is there a man man enough to make me feel like a woman?"
A man stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this!"
Me: Dark humor jokes are like a mother's love.
Orphan: How come?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
Orphan: . . . .
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
What is the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What type of jokes do you tell an orphan?
Family jokes.
Your chest is flatter than pre-Aristotle's concept of Earth.
What do orphans call a family photo?
A selfie.
Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you wonât regret it.
Your dad? Oh wait, you donât have that!
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun in a blender.