Joke jokes
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
Joke.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.