Joke jokes
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
What is the useless skin around the vagina called?
The woman.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself
What did the gay guy say to his boyfriend before leaving to go on vacation?
"Do you need help packing your shit?"
If 2 vegetables have an argument, it's called beef.
I saw a midget prisoner climbing down a ladder the other day and I thought, huh, that's a little con-descending.
A blondie and a redneck jumped off a building. Which one will land first?
The redneck because the blonde will ask for directions.
Who is Barry B. Benson’s favorite classical composer?
Bee-thoven.
What's the difference between a pile of 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
A Mustang Challenger doesn't exist.
The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.
A Lew runs into a wall, what does he break? His Nose.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what does he break? His lawn mower.
What do you call a private nun?
Nun-o-yo-business.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
Joke.