Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
What's a skeleton's favorite meme?
Ken Bone.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
What's the hardest part of eating vegetables?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.