Joke jokes
Penis.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
What's a skeleton's favorite meme?
Ken Bone.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
We all know the joke: Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.
But do you know why 9 is scared of 7?
Because you are supposed to eat 3 square meals a day (3 squared).
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? At least it was a soft drink.
Why did my boyfriend leave me?
Because he's gay.
But why did he come back to me?
Because I'm actually a guy :-)
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.