Joke jokes
"Jasmine is gay, now THAT is a joke."
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
They unplugged the wifi.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck.
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
Why were you born?
Because I asked out your mom on accident.
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."
Why did he go to hell? Because he couldn't use the stairs to Heaven.
Him: *slowly drives past elementary school while looking at kids*
Her: Why are you staring at those kids? *jokingly* Are you like a pedophile or something?
Him: ... At least you know why I love calling you "baby" now~
What's black and white and red all over?
A massacre at a funeral.
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A ffsshh.
Who's Hitler's best friend? Nazis me.
Why can’t Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there wasn’t a ramp.
How do you spell racecar backwards?
racecar
How do you spell racecar sideways?
Paul Walker's death.
You know when you sign up for something and it says "I'm not a robot"? I guess he never had the chance to tick that.
I knocked on Stephen Hawking's door, but nobody answered...
All I got was "error 404 page not found."
Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!