Joke jokes
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
He's not dead, his batteries have run out.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
Wanna hear a joke? You.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What’s a peedophile’s favorite shoes? White vans.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator.
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.