Ives

Ives jokes

Imposter

    • I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

    I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

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    • Age

    • Chenle: One time when I was younger, someone asked me how old I was and I forgot. I had to Wikipedia my age to remember.

    Jisung: This is the richest thing I've ever heard in my life.

    Seal

    • I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

    Ives memes

    Covid

    • What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

    I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

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    • Disabled

    • The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."

    He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."

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    • Weasel

    • A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

    Friend

    • When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.

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    • Starvation

    • Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!

    Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*

    Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.

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    • Parent

    • Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

    I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

    I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

    So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

    Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

    I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

    Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

    Atom

    • Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

    "Are you sure?" asks the other.

    "I'm positive!"

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    • Abuse

    • *The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*

    *My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*

    Well what am I gonna do now...

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