it's jokes
You dropped your toilet paper, right? You want to pick it up, but you can't because you have poop in your butt and it scwoshd! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My friend made this joke (so I’m going steal it). I’m surrounded by fat people, oh wait... it’s just one.
How many times do you tickle an octopus to make it laugh?
Ten-tickles.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
How do you cover 12 holes with one hole?
Take a flute and shove it up your ass.
Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
What does a nosey paper do?
It gets "Jalapeño" your face!
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.
How many dead slaves does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently, more than 6, because my basement is still dark.
One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
How many feminists does it take to fix a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change anything.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
What did the titanic say as it was sinking?
I nominate all the passengers to the ice bucket challenge.
Yo mama so fat it took Thanos 2 snaps.
What's the difference between a sheet and a baby?
One of them is really loud when you iron it.