it's jokes
I have a riddle for you:
10 people are on a boat, but they all die due to a tsunami except the captain.
Then, when he gets home, his wife serves him “penguin meat.”
Once he eats it, he starts crying.
Why?
I watched an episode of Law & Order Special Victims Unit. It turns out it's about rape. I thought it was going to be about crimes on a short bus or something.
Knock, knock.
(Who’s there?)
It’s the police, ma’am, your son got hit by a drunken driver. He’s dead.
My friend: How are you running so fast? You just had 10 hamburgers!
Me: It’s the 10 hamburgers that are making me run fast!
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
No thank you!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn’t matter; it ain’t coming to you.
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Best way of abortion?
Beyblade abortion.
LET IT R.I.P.
I'm tired of seeing Mal's joke the second I open up the site. It's not a bad joke. I'm just tired of it.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
How did the hipster burn his lips?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
It was so windy I saw a chicken lay the same egg twice!
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
I made a joke about unemployed people. It didn’t work.
After the holidays, Ron asks Hermione: "How was the weather in Spain?"
Hermione: "No idea, it was so foggy I couldn't see a thing!"
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
If humanity were to nominate the gayest country in the world, it would be Tel Aviv, honestly.
What time is it when you cannot do anything?
What time is it when you get home and you can walk, walk? Eeeeeew!