it's jokes

Write 317537 on your calculator and turn it over to spell "Leslie."

What time is it when you get home, and you can walk, walk home and walk, walk home from?

The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.

I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.

What did Yarn Yoshi say to Poochy whilst trying to solve a puzzle?

"Alright Poochy, it's time to get crafty!"

One day, there was an ugly barnacle. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end!

I can't see the bee.

It's by the beehive.

The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.

Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.

Say:

"Eye"

Spell:

"Map"

Say:

"Ness"

Now say it fast!

I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.

Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.

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A woman walks out of the shower, winks at her boyfriend, and says, "Honey, I shaved myself down there. Do you know what that means?"

The boyfriend says, "Yeah, it means the drain is clogged again."

An old woman walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room."

"You put in my husband's teeth last week," she replied. "Now you have to remove them."

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says it'll take about an hour for him to check it. While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. The penguin isn't the cleanest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. When he returns to the shop, the mechanic takes one look at him and says, "Looks like you blew a seal."

"No," the penguin insists, "it's just ice cream."

If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

A family's driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windshield. Embarrassed, and trying to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect."

"Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

The next morning,

Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

*Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)

How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? Nine.

A kindergarten teacher is chatting with little John. The teacher asks John, "John, can you get me some pencils?" John replies, "Sure, I'll do it!" and accidentally knocks over a vase.

The teacher says, "Oh, John!"

John asks, "What does that mean?" The teacher replies, "It's kind of a synonym for 'You loser!'"

In Africa, a koala and a kangaroo were very thirsty. The kangaroo said that when they have no water, they dig a hole and water comes out of it. Then the kangaroo dug, and in one minute the koala asked if there was any water. The kangaroo said no, and the koala had to wait for many minutes. Soon water came out of the hole, and then the koala jumped into the hole and drank water. The kangaroo wanted water too, so he tried to pull out the koala, but instead, his tail got chopped off, and then they never became friends again.

This isn’t a joke. Quiet kid jokes are so cliché. Like since when was there an original quiet kid joke like smh. Doesn’t help because I’m a quiet kid and people act as if I’m so dangerous and it’s like the only thing they say to me. Being judged as some big bad monster for being AN INTROVERT!! These jokes used to be funny to me, but now I’m just sick of them...