it's jokes

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.

Which is more disabling, is it autism or Down syndrome?

For the encore, we'd love to tell you a construction joke but... we're still working on it.

Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?

Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.

Why did the parachute refuse to open?

Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.

Why did the ass start a gardening service?

It was great at dropping SEEDS.

Why did the ass go to therapy?

It couldn't deal with all the crap.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.

It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.

Is it so? Do people get freedom?

Omega was born with Mammosbum in Mammam.

Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.

Why was 10 scared?

Because it’s between 9/11.

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.

I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.

Ever wondered how Jesus got rid of the cross that killed him?

Burned it in a hellish fire to make some firewood.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

I was watching The Conjuring with an emo person. She said she likes the part where the girl was hanging. I said, "Why? Because you wish it were you?"

I just overheard this but:

How do you make a party in space?

You planet.