it's jokes
Your hairline is lookin' so crusty like KFC chicken and be so discombobulated that it looks like satellite signals. It gives me flippin' sun radiation.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
When is a car not a car?
When it's a house.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? 327.
What's the difference between a female NCO and a zebra?
A zebra didn't have to suck and fuck to get its stripes.
POV: it's picture day, but you can't sit still, even though your mom told you to but you got to exsited, about and you were just in it for the icecream at the shop, and then your mom says sit still but you don't listen, and honestly that would be me fr, NOT THAT DEEP BRO........
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 9 because my basement is still dark.
"Rosex, why you search that?" Does it mean "Roblox sex?" Kid, stop!
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu!
Why could not the 11 year old watch the pirate movie?
because it was rated RRRRGGGG.
I am guessing you don't understand :(
Why is it that when Donald Trump and Melania make love, she is always on top?
Donald Trump can only F@#k up.
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
Don't hate life, love it because when you want to live and try again in life, it's already too late. :(
My tower is hard, but after six minutes, it fell over.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
Q: What did the egg do when the bacon told it a joke?
A: It cracked up!
I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!
Jimmy caught his parents having sex and asked what they were doing and asked if he could join because it looked fun and his mom asked why and he replied, "Well, Mommy, I see you and the mailman do it, and when he leaves he says, 'I can't wait to cum back, that was fun!' and now you and Daddy are doing it, so I wanted to try!" The dad gets angry at this and scolds the mother saying, "I can't believe you did that when I was gone, babe!" The mother was very sad, and then the father left and went to get divorce papers, and when he left the mother told Jimmy that he'd understand when he was older.
18 years later...
Jimmy has a girlfriend and asks her to call him a sus name, and she says only in the bed, and he agrees. Later, when they both are having sex, Jimmy's girlfriend asks if he used a condom or not, and he said that he didn't know what that was, so then 9 months later, she was pregnant, but abortion was illegal, so she gives birth and puts the child up for adoption.
A few years later, Jimmy has a good job and his wife now asked to have a child, and then she asked if she could call him a sus name while he did he, he said sure, and on they went with their clothes off and under the sheets. Jimmy gets a call from his boss saying he needed to go over really fast, it was an emergency, and so Jimmy left really fast. However, his wife was very unfaithful and called in a man to come as soon as possible, and then they did it. Jimmy came home after 10-18 hours and was very happy and went to tell his wife the great new, but then he heard strange sounds coming from the room and so he wen inside and was shocked to see his father and his wife having sex. Jimmy though didn't care that his wife had cheated on him he just said, "Well baby, tonight's your lucky night," and without any hesitation ripped off his clothes and jumped in the bed and they then had a threesome, and the wife said she was very happy that she had been done x2 and when Jimmy asked why she said,"Well I had two dicks in my vagina and now I'm so refreshed!" Jimmy was happy to hear that and then had a woman come over so that his wife and a woman would have a threesome again, and so then Jimmy saw that it was his mother and he really didn't want to do it, but his wife convinced him too and so he did it and his mother was going for Jimmy's wife more and more until Jimmy no longer was in the threesome and now only Jimmy's wife and his mother were doing it, this made Jimmy mad and this bit both of their boobs and they were shocked but then they pinned him down and bit his dick and then grabbed a bottle of alcohol and made him drink until he was drunk and then he started to eat their ass' and then called his father to come to have sex again and then they all had a foursome, the wife then called the police and had then all arrested and said," You all sucked" and Jimmy said," What about you too? You sucked me!" They all died of mental desires in jail. The end.
Tired of having to cut your grass? Dye it blue, and it will die itself.