it's jokes
How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
Have you ever eaten a clock before? I heard it’s very time consuming.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me.
I think I might apply for a job cleaning mirrors.
It’s a job I can see myself doing.
One day you were at the store and you see you in a cart, and so you get out, and it was a mirror. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂Lol
"That's not my age; it's just not true.
My heart is young; the time just flew.
I'm staring at this strange old face, and someone else is in my space."
How many hookers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Stormtrooper: What happened to the Jedi Order?
Palpatine: Slew it!
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
GUY 1: How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
GUY 2: Depends on how hard you throw them.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
What do you call a dog with 2 legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come anyways.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved!
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
if an atom makes up everything im still suprised how it made ur mom
A guy in a Costco was pretty pissed off at something. A guy walks up to him and says, "What's wrong, pal? Don't worry, it's not like you're on an abandoned aisle!"
I was going to tell a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.