it's jokes

Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?

They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.

Hi Alex, it's 2:00 Easter time. Freshfry is a scaredy-cat. He left when you left, lol.

A man comes to a bar and has a drink. Then his bully came to him and stole his drink. Then the bully asked, "What's wrong?"

The man said that "I'm trying to kill myself. I tried getting hit by a train, but the train went on a different track. Then I tried to jump off a bridge, but I fell on a boat full of pillows. Then I tried to poison myself."

Then the bully says, "Then what?" Then the man replied, "You just drank it." Then the man left.

Yo mama is so fat that when she steps on a scale, it says "to be continued."

Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!

Why was the orphan's first phone an XR?

Because it had no home button.

Yesterday I went to a party at my friend’s house. Everyone was dressed as birthday candles. It was a blowout.

How'd the skeleton know it was going to rain? He looked at the weather forecast.

An Eskimo was holidaying in New Zealand and while driving his rented car around the countryside it broke down. A bloke passing by offered to help, lifted the bonnet and said, "I know your problem, you blew a seal."

The Eskimo with a shocked expression retorted, "Yeah? Well you fuck sheep!"

911, what's your emergency?

Me: My grandma just passed out in the living room and I think she's dead.

Well, it's not a living room anymore.

Me: Hangs up.

This boy's eyebrow was so bushy, everyone thought that it was a squirrel tail! XD

What did the cupcake tell its frosting?

I’d be muffin without you.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

How many retards does it take to change a lightbulb? None! They are still too busy trying to turn off the dark.

Click...uh Click..........,.UH!!

Confucius say, never try win head-butting contest with mongoloid: you’ll lose every time and only hurt yourself.

(mono gloid? mong a’ loid squeals)

Did you hear the one about the dog raised by retards?

All he’d do is go “Uh-f, uh-f....Ooohhhh!”

What did Vegeta say to Bulma?

What?

Can I show you my new move? It's called BIG BANG ATTACKKKK! :)

Yo mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "To be continued."

I asked the homeless woman if I could take her home. She said yes, so I took it.

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk me home, and then get home? Then I can walk you home, and walk home.

How's it going @#$!

What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.