it's jokes
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
It can’t find home.
What’s the best Marvel villain song EVER?
It Was Agatha All Along!!! *gasp* And I killed Sparky, too. *laughs manically*
You are so fat that when you go out to check your letterbox, it measures 8 on the Richter scale.
I told a disabled kid to get in my van. Well, it’s been two years, and he still hasn’t gotten into the van.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
I'm never going bungee jumping because a cord bridged me into the world. It's not taking me out.
Your forehead is so big that the teachers used it as a whiteboard.
Q. When is it bedtime at Jeffrey Epstein's house? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
For some reason, people make fun of my name because it rhymes with something that starts with an F.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
The kid that died is cut in half, and you see the next trap. It looks like a giant pit that you have to jump over, and you clear it, but you feel something on your back, and you realize that there is a spike that comes up when you jump over. You see the other contestant jump over. You try to warn them to not step over because they would get stabbed, but they ignore you and then get hit by the spike. The next obstacle is a wall that slams on a wall. You wait until the wall closes, and you quickly run through. The next person runs through, and they get to live.
Sorry, this is small. This is also a part two.
My nephew hated working outside in landscaping, so I got him a job in the twin towers; I don't know why he keeps complaining about it being an inside job.
A man is about to be hanged. His executioner asks for his last words.
The man says, “Man, it’s hard to think of something when your life is on the line.”
You can pick your friends and you can pick your 🤥 nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃 👃.
Does it 🚲 🚲 🚲 cycle now?
Your forehead is so fucking big, I had to call an Uber to get across the eyebrows to your hairline.
I know it's bad, sorry.
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
Okay, so I have a dairy and sugar allergy, and if I eat it, I get REALLY CONSTIPATED, so this is me when I’m constipated ᕙ(⇀‸↼‵‵)ᕗ lol.
How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.