it's jokes

I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?

The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.

Q. How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? A. Depends how thin you slice them.

I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.

Like it’s my next meal.

I'm reading a book on anti-gravity, it's impossible to PUT DOWN!

Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock? It’s a little meteor.

Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?

Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭

If you watch "Jaws" backward, it will be a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Slow and steady wins the race...

...but it will never fix your ugly face.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...

It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.

Charlen's hairline is sooooo fat because it was never brushed.

Your forehead is so big that when you put glasses on top of your head, it falls off.

Sleep and death are alike; it's just with death you don't wake up.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?

Palpatine: Grew it.

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.