it's jokes
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
Person 1: A life.
Person 2: I don't get it.
Person 1: Exactly.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cuz 7 8 9, right?
No. It's because 7 was a repeated 6 offender.
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!
Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.
The thing about animals is every time you pick one up, you have to put it down.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
Why would you make jokes about birth control?
It's a great labour-saving invention.
How many audio engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, two. One, TWO. One, two. One, two.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but they're very tiny and we're not sure how they got in there.
How many Bay Street bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
In Toronto? One to hold it up and expect the entire country to revolve around them.
How many poets does it take to change a light bulb?
One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle.
Leo must be an INTERIOR DECORATOR... because when she enters a room, it becomes UGLY.
If I agreed with Leo, then that wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make BOTH of us dumb.
When Sally was little, she came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, I can't believe it! Little John collects Pimmel at school."
Mom: "No?"
"Like in heaven?" said the mother.
"No, juice," Sally said.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
What happens to an Indian's doorbell when you ring it?
A ring-a-ding-a-ding.