it's jokes
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
What time is it when you get home?
My girlfriend asked me whether I was having sex behind her back, and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be called?
A self-me.
A very rich and famous comedian walked into a Russian bar and asked for a vodka, but the bar man (a big fan of his) answered to him: - "This vodka isn't good enough for you." - "If it is good enough for you it is good enough for me!"
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.
The cannibal says to the other cannibal, "I like it when humans fall from the sky because then they are meateor."
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw 'em.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
What happened when the duck crossed the road?
It crossed the road.