it's jokes
What school did we say it was today? What did the snow say? "I love!"
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
why is it true
Why did the baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to a chicken.
Why did the priest buy a clown suit?
Because the old one had blood all over it.
Hey.
Girl: Hey.
Damn, I forgot my spray bottle.
Girl: What?
It says "spray on flat surfaces."
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
This isn't an orphan joke, but I got a job at a library, but it only lasted 15 minutes. Turns out, books about women’s rights shouldn’t go in the Sci-Fi / Fantasy section.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
Q: Why is Saturn a boy planet?
A: Because he has a nice ring to it.
I gave a blind person a gun and said it was a hair dryer.