it's jokes

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

I picked up a document, and I started to feel cold.

I looked down at the document, and it read "DRAFT."

Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?

Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.

Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?

What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?

Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."

It squirted in my eye, God dammit!

A doctor slept with one of his patients and thought to himself, "This is wrong, but some doctors do it..." He is a vet.

Once we went to a light bulb party last night, YO it was freakin lit.

How did the Skeleton know it was gonna rain?

He read the weather forecast.

I used to hate facial hair,

but then it grew on me.

Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"

I was submitting this joke, and I realized Stephen Hawking couldn't.

It had the reCAPTCHA "I'm not a robot."

How's it going @#$!

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

What do you call a hill with cows on it?

A Moo-ntain.

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

I ate a watch once... it was time-consuming.

Me: God, Bryce, do we really have to talk about this again?

Bryce: What?

Me: You're still talking shit!! I already told you! It's 9 inches! Stop saying it's 3!

P.S. I'm a girl.

My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.