it's jokes
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce in.
Lettuce in who?
Lettuce in, it's cold out here!
Why did Elsa's dog run away?
Because she let it go!
What's something an orphan likes but doesn't have?
A family.
Why can't orphans eat Doritos? Because it's family size.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see."
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Yo mom is so fat that when she stands on a scale, she broke it, lol.
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"
What did the purple grape say to the green grape? "Breathe, you idiot, breathe!"
Get it?
A Spanish magician is trying the disappearing trick. He counts "Uno, dos..." and leaves no trace.
I don't know, my friend did it.
Do you ever wonder why orphans buy small cereal boxes? It's because they can't get family size.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.
My grandpa lost his toe today. 😔
Nvm, we found it. It's in his TOEtruck.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school, I had to listen to it twenty-four seven. After that, I sang the song [with] the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.