it's jokes
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
Have you heard about kids with AIDS?
It never gets old.
If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run"?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it got mugged.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Can I get a building license?
It's the end of the world!
I tried to make a necrophilia joke, but it was dead in the water.
Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy and sent only 10 knights, each with two squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight’s armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
Just to an orphan.
Orphan: You're stupid.
You: You're so ugly, it's the reason your parents are dead.
Did you see the dyslexic kid try to write down “funeral?”
No? Shame, it was real fun.
Boy: Why is my sister named Rose?
Dad: Someone threw a rose out of a car and it hit her in the head.
Boy: Okay, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Brick.
Q: Why can't skeletons go to the dance?
A: He doesn't have the guts for it.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What did the south tower say to the north tower? It said: nothing.
9/11 joke.
I tried to high five a tree, but it just left me hanging.
If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What's the difference between a woman and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow you after you put a load in it.