it's jokes
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Why did the squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom.
He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store."
But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH!" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19-year-old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?"
Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing."
Johnny says, "Oh. But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"
(Santa winks at you)
I hate this website. It's retarded and 4chan is better.
Were Japanese suicide bombers taught to fly, or was it just a quick crash course?
What is it called when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family photo.
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk walk home, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school, and walk walk home from school?
Hi.
Where does the resistor go after a long day?
It goes Ohm.
You do not spell "computer" like this; you spell it like this: "cumputer."
Knock knock!
Who is it?
Knock.
Knock who?
Knock you.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
I'm not lazy, I'm just bone tired. I bet that one tickled your funny bone. It sure got me rattled. Don't try to stop me. I've got a skele-ton of these!
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
Y'uree: Bruh... listen... gangbang... sex... the same.
Halyei: Hello Y'uree and Jarod. How are you guys today?
Y'uree: Well, sexy girls like you should be ass-fucked or fucked so hard that all you can do is talk or nothing at all?
Halyei: Thank you, I suck dicks too!
Jarod: Are you Breya???
Halyei: No... do I look like that flying bastard???
Jarod: Ugh... no... baby, you're free to go!
Halyei: Sorry, I miss cursing and having sex with her too! Sorry for being an idiot. I really miss her. Maybe you and I can give her a threesome??? No, I'm not gay! WHY!!!!!!! Can you come to the please fuck me! It's the fuckable girls contest and I want to win! Sorry!
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.