it's jokes
When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
My uncle was a priest.
He had a two-inch penis, but when it was in my ass, it felt like a torpedo.
What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?
When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
My doctor told me it was perfectly normal to become aroused or even ejaculate during a prostate exam.
That being said I wish he hadn't!
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣
It isn't a real charity until India opens call centers, like they did with Africa.
Why did the electron leave the atom?
Because it didn't want to be argon.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Me: *listening to music under a tree and smiling*
Random person who sees me: Awwww look at him, he looks so so happy ^w^
Me: *actually listening to depressing music that makes me wanna kill and end myself but just smiles to show that everything's gonna be fine even if it won't*
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.