it's jokes

Stairs

5 views ·

Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.

Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.

Book

94 views ·

Salman Rushdie got a new book out.

It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."

Elephant

5 views ·

God: (creating elephants) Make it big.

Angel: How big?

God: As big as my d--

Angel: Whoa!

God: Fine, 10 feet tall.

Angel: That's big bu--

God: Put a long thing on its face.

Zebra Crossing

25 views ·

A man is standing on the side of the road, waiting to cross, when another man stands alongside him. The first man says, "I have been waiting to cross here for ages. It's impossible to cross."

The second man says, "There is a zebra crossing up the road." He said, "I hope he is having better luck than I am!"

Twin

31 views ·

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

Slavery

257 views ·

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?

Because it’s only bad when white people do it.

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  • Burger

    67 views ·

    A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.

    I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.

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  • Koala

    3 views ·

    Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.

    Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.

    Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.

    Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.

    Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.

    Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.

    Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.

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  • Toilet Paper

    Why do people keep saying, "Why did the toilet paper not cross?" Because it got stuck in the crack, because it got stuck in their crack.

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  • Dream

    15 views ·

    "Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you." mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.

    Quarterback

    38 views ·

    As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.

    My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."

    Face

    26 views ·

    Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!

    Harvey 😁: It's funny!

    Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!

    Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?

    Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!

    Harvey😟: That's not true!

    Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!

    Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!

    Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?

    Harvey😁: Good!

    Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!

    Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!