it's jokes

What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?

The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.

A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it Sum Ting Wong.

How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open.

Woman aren't human anyways... lol.

One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!

I bought an orphan iPhone 8 Plus and he said he doesn't want it 'cause it didn't have a HOME button.

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried so hard, but it wouldn't whistle.

So I bought a steel one. It still wouldn't let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It still wouldn't lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes, so the wood would lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.

But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.

I tried to start a music career, but it crashed harder than Paul Walker.

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but only got plane.

I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.

What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!

Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!

Why is "Frozen" a good movie for orphans?

Because they know how to "let it go" when their parents went.

How do you keep a bull from charging?

You take its credit card away.

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

What’s the difference between the real Jesus and a picture of him?

It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.

I have a really good construction joke.

But I'm still working on it.

On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

What do 9/11 and gender have in common?

They used to be two, and now it's a sensitive topic.

What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?

The cat is still alive.

What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?

Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.