it's jokes

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.

I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.

Why's it called a Caesar Salad?

'Cause Caesar ruled the romaines.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

When does a joke become a dad joke? When it goes to get the milk yet never comes back.

Miss you dad.

What did the sea do when it saw the beach?

It waved!

I wondered why the ball was getting bigger... then it hit me.

How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?

I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.

Why can black people post offensive jokes about making fun of white people, but white people can't post offensive jokes about making fun of black people? Because white people have white privilege. Does it cycle?

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.

I made a website for orphans.

It has no home page.

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?

Have you ever had sex camping?

It's inTENTS.

When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."

Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.

Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.

The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.

The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.

Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."